Chemo #3: Day 14

Good morning!  It is a great morning!  I am starting on my 3rd week after my 3rd chemo and feeling pretty well.  I love getting up in the morning when I know my brain is working a little better and the chemo fog is at bay.  I had enough time to study God's word, enjoy His creation (our barn kitten playing, bunnies, birds) and drink my coffee.  Right after chemo I can't drink coffee for about a week and I sure do miss it.  The 2nd week after chemo I can drink it, but it doesn't taste right so I don't really enjoy it.  The 3rd week....it tastes good again.  Mmmmm!  It was good this morning!

I was finally able to drive a little over the weekend.  I had the opportunity to go to a Women's meeting at church yesterday and a baby shower at church.  It felt great to drive myself.  Once I was there for a couple of hours though I was getting pretty foggy brained and felt like I might have to call Kevan and my dad to come get me, but by the time I left I felt better.  The chemo fog seems to come and go throughout the day.  It still seems to mess up my vision as well.

I am still having to take Claritin for the bone pain from the Neulasta shot.  I can tell when I miss a dose so I know it is working.  I forgot to take it before we left for church yesterday and I had quite a bit of spine and chest pain.  If I was smart I would carry it in my purse.  My fingers and toes are pretty sore still.  My computer has hot air that blows out the right side of it.  So, if I use my mouse next to my computer it really makes my nails hurt (immediately) if they get hit by the hot air.  They are so sensitive.  I'm thankful I have all my nails still though...some women I know lost a nail or two during treatment.  One thing that we've noticed after this last treatment is how fat and round my face is getting.  I'm guessing it is the steroids and I'm praying/hoping that it goes back to normal after my last treatment.  I was going to post a picture....but I'm not that brave.  lol!

We took my parents to Lynchburg, TN Saturday morning to go on a free tour of the Jack Daniels' plant and learn about the history of the area.  I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to keep up with everyone, but I tried to sit and rest whenever there was an opportunity during the tour and it worked out great.  If you are on chemo you might want to skip the tour...the smell inside the plant was making me sick.  I just tried not to breathe whenever it was smelly and I made it through it.  We also drove by the area where Davy Crockett lived when he was there and visited the little town square.  I love history.  Anyway, I wore one of my wigs all day.  I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I developed a rash on my head.  So, I don't think I will be wearing a wig for a few days.  It hurts. Here is a pic of my dad and Kevan with Jack Daniels.

Below is a picture of my hand.  A few days after my last chemo treatment I developed this chemo burn.  I read some things online and it sounds like the Taxotere (chemo drug) leaked out of my vein which caused the burn.  It is pretty painful...just like if I burned it on the stove.  A woman online said that her hand scarred pretty bad from her burn so I'm praying mine does not scar.  I will talk to my oncologist about it when I see him next Tuesday and also about how to prevent it next time.  This is the arm that I already have signs of lymphedema in and I am not supposed to injure my arm....so hopefully the lymphedema does not worsen due to this.  What have you learned from Jayde's experience?  If you have to go through chemo GET A PORT!

Kevan and I are leaving for Nashville tonight for a couple appointments I have tomorrow.  I will be having my 3 month checkup with my breast surgeon who did my mastectomy.  I can't believe it has been over 3 months!  Also, I'm going to try to get fitted for my compression sleeve and meet with the lymphedema specialist at my surgeon's office.  I just want to get her opinion on how I'm progressing.

Do you want to hear some great news?  A week from tomorrow I will be having my LAST chemo treatment (August 28th)!  I am looking forward to finishing up and starting back to work again.  A couple weeks after my last treatment I'm going to start my DIET....I can't wait to lose this weight I've gained.  I'm going to look into a free 16-week breast cancer survivor program they have at the YMCA.  Downside is that it is a 45 minute drive to the closest one with the program.  But, I really want to get back in shape!  Also, I'm looking forward to my hair growing back.  ;o)

Romans 15:13 - "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

 Again, thank you all for your prayers.  God blessed me this chemo treatment.  It wasn't as bad as the first 2!

Chemo #3

First, I want to thank my mother-in-law, Judy, for taking her day off work and spending it with me during my 3rd chemo treatment on her BIRTHDAY.  I felt so bad, but I didn't want to be alone and Kevan had to work.  She was so gracious to come and sit in an uncomfortable chair all day.  I know that it brings back memories for her during her two breast cancer journey's...sitting in that same room...going through the same thing....but God was with her and brought her through it TWICE.  I'm so thankful he did so I would know this special woman.  I noticed a couple times that she had tears in her eyes for me and I'm sure it was because of the memories too.  Judy, I love you and I have been blessed by God to have such a wonderful mother-in-law.  I know this is a special blessing because not many can say this about their in-laws, but I was blessed with great ones that love the Lord as well.  Thank you so much for all you do for Kevan and I.

Chemo Day #3 Adventure (very long, but I don't want to forget the details):
Judy and I arrived at the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center at 10am.  I didn't get called for my blood work until about 10:30.  It was a pretty packed out place...which is sad since most of us were their for our chemo treatments.  I weighed even more this time when they weighed me...I hate it.  Next time they are probably going to have to use the 2nd big weight and that has never happened before.  :o(  Anyway, they took blood out of my finger for my blood counts to make sure I could have chemo.  Then, we met with my doctor and his nurse assistant about 15 minutes later.  He said my White Blood Cell counts were very high due to the Neulasta shot and commented that my bones were working overtime.  Mine were 44,000 and normal is 4,000 to 10,000.  (I'm sure it was everyone's prayers for me!  Thank you!)  So, because of the bone pain in my pelvis, hips, shoulder and sternum he is going to 1/2 the dosage this time (Praise the Lord!!!).  This was happy news to me.  The chemo nurse told me that they half the dosage in about 1/4 of their patients because their body reacts very well to the Neulasta shot and because those patients usually experience a lot of bone pain.  I'm always such a special patient.  lol!  My doctor even commented yesterday that my body is VERY sensitive to the chemo, the drugs they give me and the shot.  He also commented that I needed to start exercising on my good days since my weight is up.  I guess I'll start using the treadmill that just sits in our living room instead of just hanging my purse on it.  lol!

After we met with the doctor I go to the chemo room and find a chair I like.  They are all recliners which makes it really nice.  Although, Judy (or Kevan) have to sit in a normal chair and I'm sure it isn't comfy.   I arrived in the chemo room about 11am.  Once there, the drugs get ordered.  I get 4 total (steroid, anti-nausea, cytoxan and taxotere - in that order).  The steroid and anti-nausea meds take a little over an hour to drip.  Then, the cytoxan was about 30 minutes and the Taxotere about 1 hour.  So, a little over 2 hours for all.  So, I want to get started as soon as possible.

Before I start the next section...if you have cancer and will be having chemo....get a PORT.  I wanted one, but my doctor didn't want to put me through another surgery and he thought my veins would be just fine.  We didn't realize at the time that I would be in the hospital twice so far and my veins would not cooperate at all.  So, my advice to you...to make your life so much easier...is to GET A PORT!  I should've demanded it.

I took a quick pic of myself in the chemo room (again, we aren't supposed to so I look funny in it since I didn't want to get caught smiling at my camera.  lol).

First thing they have to do is my IV.  One thing I am very tired of during this journey is the needle pricks.  I already have scar tissue in 2 of my veins from the chemo and she told me that they can no longer use those veins for IV's.  I want to say that I know that the following is in NO WAY the nurses fault.  My veins were not co-operating on my left arm yesterday.  I wanted to use my left arm only since my right arm is already showing lymphedema signs and the specialist told me not to use the right arm.  So, please...no comments about the nurses.  They are a blessing to me and I was praying the whole time for them and me.  I believe that God wanted me to go through this for some reason because he wasn't answering my prayers.  So, this was just part of his plan for me.  Anyway, the first nurse tried to get a good vein.  She noticed right away this wasn't going to be easy so she got a hot pack to see if she warmed my arm if they would appear.  She had to prick me twice (about 20 minutes apart), but both times the veins wouldn't cooperate.  So, she turned it over to another nurse.  She tried once in another spot.  Didn't work.  Then, the chemo room was getting VERY busy so she asked another nurse to try.  She tried 2 times to no avail.  I was getting emotional because it is pretty painful to get pricked so many times and know that it was going to keep happening until it worked.  The tears started to fall which I think really bothered the nurse because she didn't want me hurting.  I tried to hide it, but I noticed everyone in the chemo room could tell I was crying.  Sometimes I hate being an emotional girl!  She suggested a little break.  At this time, they had been trying for about 1.5 hours so far.  They were really trying hard and not doing it too quickly so they wouldn't hurt me if they didn't have a really good vein option.  I started to drink more fluids to see if it would help.  Then, I told her to go ahead and use the right arm.  I've NEVER had a problem with the right arm.

They called my doctor over to make sure it was okay to use the right arm.  He measured a little with his fingers to see how much bigger the right was from the left.  I told him last time I knew it was 6%, but I had just been discharged from a 4 day hospital stay where they pumped me with fluids.  Also, the first time I had chemo they used the right arm.  So, he gave them permission to use the right and they all agreed that they might use the right for my last treatment as well.  The same nurse tried on the right arm on inside of the elbow because I didn't want it in my hand.  When I get it in my hand my arm tends to hurt/ache during the drip process because the veins are so tiny.  It didn't hurt during chemo #1 because they used a larger vein in the middle of my arm.  Anyway, the vein didn't cooperate.  She didn't want to try anymore (she had tried 3 times...we are at a total of 6).  So, they called in a woman from another area who ALWAYS gets a good vein.  :o)  While I was waiting for her to arrive I posted a prayer request on Facebook so my friends would pray for me...I was very emotional at this point).  She arrived a few minutes later, sat down, looked around, smacked my arm and chose on in my hand.  :o(  At this point, I was desperate...I didn't care where the vein was...I just wanted to get it over with.  She tried a vein in my hand and it WORKED finally!!!  They were able to take blood work for some additional tests, flush it and start my IV.  Praise the Lord!  Thank you all who prayed for me.  They tried a total of 7 times before it was successful (God's perfect #)....a total of 8 though it you count my finger prick for blood counts.  :o(

At 1:15pm they were finally starting my IV meds.  I was so happy to finally get it started.  I felt so bad that my mother-in-law was having to sit there and wait all this time.  I told her to go grab some lunch for herself.  So, she took a little break.  I was able to hand out one of my cards that has my logo, blog address, email and ministry information to one of the nurses.  I asked her to give it to a woman struggling with breast cancer.  If she contacts me I will try to provide her with support and pray with her.  She said she had a person in mind.  Which was great news to hear.  Here is a pic of my 'card'.  I want to use it to reach out to those woman that are having a hard time with their diagnosis so I can pray with them and try to provide them hope during their journey.  Also, ask if there is anything else I can do for them. (Kevan's cousin made me the logo based on what I wanted...he did an awesome job....also I blocked out my email from spammers)

I was also able to talk with an older woman next to me who had breast cancer and then 5 years later cancer re-appeared in one of her PET scans on her spine and liver.  She is currently doing a clinical trial.  There was a lot of commotion with her (due to vital checks, EKG breast, etc) so I wasn't able to get her name or give her my info, but I will definitely be praying for her...God knows her name.  She also complimented me on my hair and told me it was a very stylish haircut.  Then, I broke the news to her that it was a wig.  LOL!

A young boy (about 16 or 17) came up to me at the end of his father's chemo and told me that he hoped my next chemo would not be so bad and that they would find a vein quickly.  He said that he had been quietly praying for me and as he left he said "God Bless You".  What a blessing!  I told him God Bless you too as he was leaving the room.  Such a sweet boy!  I will be praying for them as well.  I'm hoping to see them again so I can talk to them some more during my next treatment.  There were a few other women in the back of the chemo room that also came up to me and told me they were sorry about my vein experience that day.  I didn't realize so many realized what was happening since the room is so busy, but I guess when you are sitting there bored for so many hours and something interesting is happening everyone notices.  lol!

I finished chemo at about 3:45pm.  So, we were at the Cancer Center for about 5.75 hours.  A long day.  It was great to get out of there, but I wanted to say that I know it is hard for those nurses that have to watch so many get chemo every day (the same ones and new ones as well) and to go through the hardship of people like me with bad veins who don't have ports.  They are all so sweet and I do appreciate them.

After chemo my MIL grabbed me some lunch (Lime Slush and breakfast burrito from Sonic.  Ha!).  Then, we drove back to my MIL's house and shortly after met up with some other family members for dinner.  I wanted my MIL to at least have a special dinner on her birthday.  So, we took her to the Old Spaghetti Factory in downtown Nashville.  I was already starting to feel the brain fog and I was a little off balance already which I was really sad about.  I wasn't able to eat much as I felt like I was gagging on my food.  It was strange.  After dinner we drove the 1.5 hour ride home.  I had the bright idea of starting my raisins and prunes ritual earlier than I normally do after chemo.  Usually I wait 4 days and my intestinal issues are already so bad that it takes several days of pain to get back to normal again.  So, we stopped and got some from a store and I ate about 2 Tablespoons of raisins and 1 prune (I didn't want to over do it...usually I eat 3 to 4).  Anyway, we went right to bed when we arrived home at 10:30pm.  I woke up at 2am from really weird dreams that I was about to get sick.  I laid there for about 15 minutes before I realized that there was no going back to sleep.  The intestinal issues were starting earlier this time (Day 2).  I was in a lot of pain.  My intestines were cramping and talking back to me.  lol!  So, I spent the next 3 hours in the bathroom.  Either on the toilet or laying in the floor.  I found if I walked back to the couch and got comfortable I had to run right back to the bathroom...so I just laid in the floor in there.  My kitty Stormie laid next to me like she knew Mama didn't feel good.  It was sweet.  I don't know if this episode was caused by the raisins/prunes or if it would've happened anyway since it always does at some point after chemo.  I'm just glad that about 5:30am I was feeling much better.  I made sure to drink some water since I really need to make sure I'm flushing out the chemo.  Then, I laid down and was able to sleep until a little after 6:30am.  So, I think I was able to sleep at least 5 hours.  Which is a huge blessing since after my first chemo I only slept 3 hours.  I didn't post the time for chemo #2, but I think it was 7 hours.

Today is a very special day.  August 8th!  My hubby's birthday.  My doctor calls him "Husband of the Year".  He really is.  I am so blessed that God brought us together almost 10 years ago.  He took the day off today so that we could do something for his birthday.  I love you sweetheart!  We have the day planned around my PT appointment and picking up a new license plate for the car.  My prayer for today is just that my side effects will stay away long enough for him to have a special birthday.  I'm already feeling weak and off balance so I'm trying to pray away those too. Here is a picture of us from the overlook where we got engaged.  This was our 1 year anniversary hike (I was so thin and had hair!).

Again, thank you all for your prayers and for your encouragement.  You all are a blessing as well.

Catch-up Post

My brain is not working so I am unsure if this post is going to make sense.  Also, my vision is not good today so it is hard for me to read or watch TV.  I am on Day 5 of Chemo #2 (Day 26 from Chemo #1).  Currently, my tongue feels like sandpaper, my throat and stomach are burning, I have nausea, my whole body feels numb, the skin under my fingernails is very sore and I am exhausted.  This may sound bad, but really...it is better than last time.  I actually took a nap yesterday afternoon and I still slept 10 hours last night!  I couldn’t get myself up.  I’m thankful that I’m sleeping, but I feel like I’m wasting my day.  With my brain fog though it doesn't really matter if I'm awake because I'm not all there anyway.  lol!  I haven't had a rash or skin issues like last time so I think that the steroid has helped a lot with this.

Those of you that are Facebook friends know that I drove myself to my Physical Therapy appointment on Thursday and realized on my way that I shouldn’t be driving.  It was hard to admit, but my brain feels numb and I just knew I couldn’t drive back home.  Kevan’s dad graciously drove up and dropped Kevan off so I wouldn’t have to drive myself back home.  Also, on the way to my PT appointment I wanted a baked potato from Wendy’s to help with my nausea.  Well, I drove up to the drive-thru and there were no potatoes on the menu.  I asked them if they no longer had baked potatoes.  They were like, “No ma’am, we don’t have baked potatoes”.  So, I just ordered the blandest item.  When I got up to the window I was at Burger King.  Not Wendy’s!  Oops.



Here is a picture of my arm wrapped.  They did this at PT to see if it would relieve some of the fluid in my arm.  It did seem to go down a little when they took it off 24 hours later. 

Due to the banding I have from my mastectomy and the extra fluid in my arm I'm having to go to PT 3 times a week.  They mostly do massage and have me do exercises, but it takes about 2 hours each time.  So, I'm a little stressed out because I don't want to take up that much time from Kevan's work day so he can drive me and I don't want to take up anyone else's day either.  :o(

For someone on chemo I think I’m doing pretty good this time.  Kevan and I were able to drive to Chattanooga to see some friends that were up here from Florida.  It was so great to see them!!  Love you Pam and Julia!  I just had a little nausea and tiredness.  When we returned home yesterday I was exhausted though.  A couple from church brought us dinner (thank you Sheri & Willie!) and it worked out really well since I didn’t have the energy to do anything.  Kevan really enjoyed it too!  I was able to eat a little cornbread and pulled pork.  :o)  I am so thankful for everyone’s prayers, dinners, cards, gifts and words of encouragement.  Kevan and I know we could not get through this without all of you.

I have some other things I want to post about, but I am just too exhausted right now to sit up and type this so I will try to get to it later.  Also, I have about 100 tomatoes that I have to preserve today and I have no idea how I’m going to get the energy to do it.  I don’t want to waste them.  I’m hoping to do a little here and there between my naps.

Day 15-17 After Chemo: Starting to feel myself again

I've been feeling a lot better.  Besides having a daily headache I've been doing really well.  Tuesday I was able to take a walk with my hubby.  I think we walked about 1.5 miles.  We just walked down the road to a pretty bridge over Mountain Creek and then back home.  I wanted to keep up walking each day, but we had to head to Nashville again Tuesday night for doctor's appointments yesterday so I didn't walk.  Then, this morning it is raining so I might have to actually use my treadmill.  :o)  I think today is the first day that I have baked since before my surgery.  A very sweet friend brought us a basket full of fresh veggies from their garden and also freshly-picked blueberries.  So, I ground some Ezekiel flour and made some Ezekiel muffins with the blueberries for breakfast.  It was nice to bake again.  I'm going to try to get up the energy to make some bread today too.

Tuesday we went to the American Cancer Society to see what head coverings and wigs they had.  They only had about 25-30 wigs and most of them were gray haired or very short haired.  There was only one blonde one that didn't have bangs so I ended up taking that one home.  It was free!  Also, women can donate their left over head coverings so I was able to look through to see if anything appealed to me.  I chose a black headband to wear under my head coverings and a floral turban type to wear to bed.  Kevan didn't like it the looks of it, but it was comfortable to sleep in.  I might have to get my sewing machine out and sew up a simple beanie cap for bed.  Here is a picture of the free wig they gave me. 

I went to the oncological surgeon yesterday so he could look at my swollen underarms.  He said that he didn't want to do anything about it right now.  Sometimes, when they lance them or drain them it can become infected and create a bigger problem.  So, I'm supposed to continue the antibiotic to see if it improves.  It is amazing how much chemo can mess up a body.  I never thought I would end up with big lumps under my arms.  It actually seems worse today than it was yesterday.  I'm pretty worried about it getting bad again after chemo Tuesday.  But, I'll continue to pray and ask God to help it go back to normal. 

I also had another appointment with my Physical Therapist.  She measured my arms.  Before surgery my right arm was 1% larger than my left.  Now, it is 6% larger so she believes it is the beginning of lymphedema in my right arm.  I was so scared of this and talked it over with my doctor's several times prior to surgery.  They told me over and over again not to worry that I was young & thin and I wasn't high risk.  So, I okay'd the sentinel node biopsies (which came back cancer free).  Well, now I'm being fitted for the compression sleeve/glove and will have to wear it every day for the rest of my life.  I'm pretty sad about it.  I will also be seeing a PT near our home to have massaging done and learn exercises for it.

Over the last few days I have realized how much my husband is being affected by a lot of this and sometimes I don't take him into consideration.  I need to remind myself that this is hard on him too.  His wife has gained 20 pounds in 2 months.  She can't fit into her cute clothes anymore.  She's had her breasts removed and hard expanders added, she has scarring, is not feeling well most of the time and she doesn't have the energy to just up and go.  The thing that really woke me up to this is that I am okay with my bald head.  I don't mind walking around the house, going out to get the mail and I probably would be okay going around town like this just to shock people.  LOL!  But, he doesn't feel the same way.  He wants his pretty wife back.  We went out to dinner on Tuesday night and I just wore a scarf.  I didn't feel like putting a wig on.  Once we got there I could tell it bothered him.  I talked with him about it and he asked if I could wear my wig when we go out, at least until he was used to it.  So, even though I'm okay with not having hair he is the one that has to look at it all the time.  I need to be sensitive to that.  When I'm around the house he wants me to wear a head covering.  I understand.  He doesn't want to lose his sexy wife and it seems each week he's losing a little piece of her.  Hopefully, when we are through this journey I'll be able to fit into my skinny clothes again, my scars will fade, my long hair will grow back just as pretty and I will have the energy to go hiking and do fun things as a couple again.  For now, with the things I can control (head coverings/wigs)...I need to give in a little for him.  So, if you are going through this and you are married...remember your husband wants his sexy wife....so on your good days....try to be what he needs.

I don't really have much else to write about.  I am hoping to get caught up on housework between naps today so my house will be in order before I get chemo again on Tuesday.  Man, I am dreading Tuesday.  :o(

The Countdown Begins...

So....the chemo is in my body.  The countdown to hair loss begins!  No turning back now.  I am conflicted on whether I'm going to use my hair dryer and straightener.  Everything I read says not to because the heat will make it fall out faster, but I hate my curly/wavy hair.  Maybe I'll just do it once a week on Sunday for church.  But, if I'm only going to have hair for 14 days...does it really matter if it is only for 7?  What do y'all think?

If some of the below is "wordy" it is because I want to remember it for later in case I need to refer back to it.

I arrived at the oncologist at 9:15am yesterday.  They took my blood work around 9:30am and she took it out of my left arm even though it ups the risk of lymphedema.  My surgeon and oncologist both think that since I only had a sentinel node biopsy and not an excision that it should be okay.  I'm praying it will be.  We waited about another hour just to see the oncologist.  While we were waiting in the patient room Kevan's cousin came by to see us and offer support.  It was very sweet.  The oncologist finally arrived.  We discussed getting a port and he doesn't think it is necessary.  He wanted me to try it without a port yesterday to see how bad I thought it was.  It wasn't bad at all.  I've met 2 people that told me their port was worse than their surgery and it was painful when they used it.  So, I'm leaning towards not getting one.  Also, the doctor had some good news.  He said, for now, I will only do 4 chemo treatments instead of 6!  Although, if it is going well with minimal side effects he wants me to continue to 6.  If I'm having a hard time then I can stop at 4.  Truthfully, I just like the idea of my hair growing back a little faster.  :o)

I brought up my oncotype score of 70 and I was so glad I did.  The oncologist explained that pre-menopausal women always have a higher score.  That is why so many of the numbers I was seeing online were so low because most women that have breast cancer are post-menopausal.   He said due to my age, menopause and the aggressiveness of the cancer that is why my score is so high.  He said it is actually a good thing because it means the chemo should work and get rid of any other cancer cells lingering in my body.  Praise God!

We waited around ANOTHER 30 minutes before a woman arrived to give us a little course in Chemo 101.  I was given a big binder to read, additional documentation and she was very helpful in circling the most critical items.  She answered any questions we had and was very sweet.  She's instructed me to rinse/gargle/spit a salt/baking soda/water mixture 4-5 times a day to prevent mouth sores.  Mouth sores is a side effect of one of the chemo drugs.  She discussed how I will probably GAIN WEIGHT  (UGH!!) because I am pre-menopausal and this will put me into menopause during treatment. So, I guess I will have to go clothes shopping.  :o(  The doctor and her both mentioned things that can help me from gaining weight.  I need to make sure I eat breakfast and exercise in the morning to rev up my metabolism early in the day, eat good throughout the day (whole foods, not sugary/fatty foods)  and not eat after 7 or 8 at night.  Since we live in Central time, but "live" on Eastern time (for work purposes) I am not sure which time zone to choose.  I guess Eastern.  She also discussed "chemo brain" with me and how I will start forgetting things and how to prevent it.  One of the items was to "work on one thing at a time".  That is going to be hard for me.  I'll have to take lots of notes.  Also, she said I can go to church even though I will be around so many, but I shouldn't hug or be around others that are sick.  If I see someone coughing or sick next to me I need to move, I need to use hand sanitizer all day long and I cannot be around kids if they appear sick.  Also, if anyone comes to visit me they will need to wash their hands as soon as they enter the house.

I didn't move to the chemo room until about 2pm EST.  I started to pray for strength.  The Lord was with me.  I was flooded with calmness the rest of the time.  I know there were many others praying for me too and I am so thankful.  I was very nervous in the morning, but throughout the day I was just relying on God and giving him my burden.  Here is a picture of me in the chemo room.  Kevan snuck and took the picture as it was against the rules.  So, shhhhhh!  Awful picture...I had just shoved a peanut butter cracker into my mouth.  lol!  Oh, did I mention free snacks and drinks.  :o)

They hooked up my IV into my right arm.  [Later my PT said this was a bad idea and that I need to use my left arm from now on since my right arm is my dominate arm.  So, if I'm going to develop lymphedema I want it in my left arm, not my right.]  First off, she pushed saline through my IV.  I'm one of the lucky ones that can taste it.  She said that was a good thing because it tells her she has a good vein.  Then, they gave me a steroid drug through the IV, followed by 2 anti-nausea drugs.  Then, they gave me Taxotere.  Some people have allergic reactions to it within the first 5 minutes.  I had no reactions (Praise God!).  It took about 45 minutes for that one to finish.  Then, they added the Cytoxan.  Almost toward the end of this one I started to develop a weird sensation in my nose, like I had went swimming and got water up my nose.  It was awful.  I had to keep laying my head back and holding my nose.  It remained the rest of the time.  The nurse said I was one of the lucky 1 in 10 to develop this and it will happen each time.  They don't know what causes it or why I am so special.  Oh yay!  Once chemo was done it last about another 20 minutes.  It wasn't a pretty bad side effect, just annoying.  So, the chemo is in my body, I'm drinking my water and trying to go to the "little girl's room" every 2 hours as directed.  Which, I don't have to set an alarm for.....I HAVE to go.  lol!  They sent me home with 2 anti-nausea drugs and a list of side effects that would be urgent if I experienced them and would need to call their office immediately (even at night or on the weekend).  They were like, fever over 100.5 F, vomiting/diarrhea over 24 hours, etc. 

After we left I had to stop by to see the Physical Therapist just to show her my scar banding so she could refer me to a PT closer to my house.  She found one, but she is on vacation so I won't start PT until 7/9.  :o(  They are going to do massaging and stretching to relieve the scar bands.  I am praying it works because it is pretty painful.

I didn't want yesterday to be a depressing day so we decided to go out to dinner before my nausea kicks in a few days from now and to see a movie if I was up to it.  My MIL was with us all day providing support and encouragement (wasting her whole day) so we took her out to PF Changs, one of her favorite places.  I didn't eat too much because I was scared to get sick, but it was all really good.  Afterwards, my MIL's cousin met us somewhere to take her home and we left to head home.  Then, we had to stop at a McDonald's and use their restroom.  I decided I wanted to go to the movie so we stopped on the way home to see "Brave".  We had 2 free movie tickets (and popcorn) from my oncological surgeon because we had to wait so long that day he wanted to do something nice for us. So, our movie trip was on him.  :o)  I did eat popcorn and it tasted pretty good!  I had to get up to go to the bathroom and as I started down the steps to the bathroom my legs were VERY weak.  I had to hold the handle.  I wasn't sure if I got up too fast or if things are starting to happen already.  I was pretty sad because everyone keeps telling me that the side effects won't appear for a few more days.  I need to work this week.  So, I'm praying they hold off until Friday night or altogether!  I had to use the restroom twice while we were at the theater.  lol!  I'd say I'm pretty hydrated.

On the way home Kevan stopped to get me my favorite smoothie from Panera (Mango Smoothie).  It didn't taste right.  Tasted like orange not mango.  He tasted it twice and said he tasted mango.  Weird!  It wasn't as good to me as they normally are, but I drank it all.  LOL!  We arrived home at 11:30 EST, I fell asleep around 12:30, slept until 2:30 (used the restroom and drank my water), didn't fall back to sleep.  Got back up at 4:30 to use the restroom/drink water.  Then, fell asleep about 5am and woke back up at 5:45 chilled.  When 6am rolled around I just got up.  So, I only slept about 3 hours last night.  I'm exhausted.  I'll have to take a nap today.

One of the best things that happened yesterday was that I made a Chemo Friend!!  She is 3 years younger than me, had pretty much the same surgery as me and same chemo regimen.  The only sad thing for me is...her last chemo was yesterday...but that is great for her!  I'm so happy she made it through.  She had a tough time and had to take off work.  I loved talking with her.  We exchanged information and I really hope we keep in touch.  :o)

Also, speaking of great things....I am so blessed to have medical insurance.  This is not a burden for us and I know it is for so many going through this.  We have had to pay out of pocket (about $4,000) so far, but God has provided what we have needed so far.  I am truly blessed to not have to worry about how we will pay for these bills.  Thank you Lord.  I love you and I know you are blessing me so much throughout this journey.

Other than the not sleeping well (probably from the steroid) I've only felt a little strange (off-balance/clumsy) a little.  If I sit up too fast I get very dizzy so I'm trying to train myself to move slower.  Also, my arms and legs are a little weak.  I think I'm going to visit the bathroom and then try to take a nap now before I start work for the day.

Thank you all for your prayers.  I surely felt them yesterday.

Doctor Visits and Wig Shopping! Oh My!

I did not realize, but some of you thought my surgery date was yesterday.  I'm so sorry.  I can't remember if I posted the new date or not.  The date was moved and is now Tuesday, 5/8.  One week from today.  I have to be there at 9:30AM CST and the surgery begins at 2:30PM CST.  It sounds a little crazy that I have to be there 5 hours early, but my surgeon confirmed that it takes that long just to prep me for surgery.

Yesterday was a long day.  Kevan and I drove to Nashville at 7AM for a 9AM doctor's appointment.  Well, I had remembered the time wrong and didn't look at my handy dandy calendar that I had put together in Word.  We didn't need to be there until 10:45!  I don't know why I ignored my calendar.  Duh!  But, they said they would try to fit me in earlier.  Their office was so busy they ran out of chairs and had to bring some in from the cafeteria.  So, Kevan and I ended up leaving at the time our appointment was supposed to be to get some lunch.  We were pretty excited since we LOVE Qdoba and there was one down the road.  We sat outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather that God blessed us with as we ate our yummy lunch. 

When we returned to the office we were called in to meet with the occupational therapist.  She went over all of the potential side effects to having a sentinel node biopsy.  Mostly, we talked about Lymphedema.  Since I have cancer in both breasts I have to have a couple lymph nodes removed from both sides to have tested.  This will give my oncological surgeon more information while he is doing my mastectomy and he will know if it has spread to my lymph nodes.  The PET scan didn't show any cancer anywhere else, but it can only find masses of a certain size so I still have to have the biopsies done.  So, she (the OT) went over all of the precautions I must now introduce into my life so that I won't develop lymphedema.  I won't be able to fly without a compression sleep on both arms, can't have blood taken out of my arms (will have to use my leg/foot), no blood pressure cuff on my arms (they will use my thigh) and I have to try not to hurt my arms in any way.  No cat scratches, no working outside without gloves or sleeves, etc.  Basically, I just need to make sure that I do not get an infection or hurt my arms in any way because this could cause excess fluid which could result in lymphedema.

The OT measured my arms and she will use the measurements to compare to my "after surgery arms" to see if there is any fluid building up and then she will check me about every 3 weeks.  There are a few things that can be done to stop the lymphedema (therapy, draining, etc) so we will want to catch it early.  The OT also gave me the cute crocheted chemo cap below.  I'm not sure if I will be brave enough to wear it out of the house as I am a "plain" person who doesn't wear bright colors or flowery things, but it is definitely very cute!  We will see.

Once we were finished with the OT we saw my oncological surgeon.  They are in the same office.  He walked right in and handed Kevan 2 free movie tickets and a $10 gift card for refreshments!  He said he doesn't like his patients to have to wait so long and he wanted to do something nice for us.  What a blessing it was and all doctor's should do it!  I have wasted a lot of time in doctor's offices in my lifetime and he showed that he really did care that we were wasting a bunch of time waiting.  Kevan and I love having date night and we usually go to see a movie on Friday night so it was a great gift for us. 

Then, the doctor did a quick ultrasound to see if he could find the mass that the PET scan revealed as cancerous on my other breast, but he couldn't locate it.  He was going to try to do a core biopsy to get a better idea of what type of cancer it was and to confirm it is cancer, but all he saw was fibroedema and cysts.  So, no luck there.  We will have to wait until after the surgery (when they do the full biopsy) to find out more.  The nurse practitioner gave me my Oncotype DX Score.  It is a test they run on the biopsied tissue (from my lumpectomy on April 3) to determine the aggressiveness of the cancer as well as the recurrence rate.  My score was 70.  Which means, "The cancer has a high risk of recurrence, and the benefits of chemotherapy for early-stage breast cancer are likely to be greater than the risks of side effects."  So, this helps to confirm the 6 rounds of chemo I will be receiving and why I will have to go through it.

After we visited the doctor we headed out to a wig store.  A friend told me about a place, but Kevan and I went to the wrong one and they did not have a big selection.  It was owned by a woman that was about 200-years old.  Just kidding.  lol!  She was very sweet and had some VERY strange views.  She did show us a few for a small charge of $7.  It is normally $17, but I think since I have cancer she gave me a $10 discount.  lol!  You can see the "WIG Demo" sign behind my head.  It said $17.

First, she pinned my hair and put this "wig sock" on my head.  <Kevan took the pictures with his phone and he was trying to hide the fact that he was taking pictures so she wouldn't tell him not to so they aren't great pictures...sorry!>  I look TERRIBLE.  I guess this gives me an idea of how I will look soon.

Then, I tried on a few.  This one was pretty close to my hair color, but I don't have bangs!  They were in my eyes.  I couldn't deal with it.

This one was ok, but it just didn't seem like me and it wasn't long enough.

I liked the color of this one, but Kevan didn't like it.  Plus, it has bangs and I kept telling her I didn't want bangs.

Let's just say it was not a fun experience.  I didn't like any of the wigs and none of them looked like my own hairstyle.  I am just boring and there were no boring hairstyles. lol!  They were too fancy.  Also, each of them were $395!!!  Kevan took a picture of one of the tags and when we got home he found one of them online for $109!  So, she had put a $280+ mark up on them.  I won't be visiting her again.  lol!

My mom and I will be visiting another wig store before the surgery date next week.  Hopefully, I will have better luck.