Started back to work....

I started back to work yesterday.  This probably means the blog posts will be fewer because I won't have much time.  I have been off for 5 weeks.  It is great to get back on my normal schedule.  I didn't realize how much I missed work and missed my co-workers until I started back yesterday.  It has been great to hear everyone's voice again.  Most of you know, I work from home.  I am really blessed that I can still recuperate at home and I don't have to rush to get ready, drive to work, etc.  I am feeling the "rush" of work already though.  lol!  But, it is a good thing.  Takes my mind of cancer, chemo and Kevan being gone.  I only have 19 days left until chemo starts.  Eek!

I am finally sleeping without having to prop myself up.....which is wonderful.  I'm sleeping pretty much straight with just two pillows under my head.  Hopefully, in a few days I'll be back to just one pillow.  I was able to finally sleep on my side a little last night.  Yay!  I am a stomach sleeper and, of course, I have not been able to sleep on my stomach.  I hate sleeping on my back so it was SO nice to finally be able to turn a little without much pain.  It did hurt after a while (I think it was the TE sutures pulling), but I was still excited to be able to do it even for a little bit.  Each day brings more things I can do once again.  It makes me appreciate all the little things that I took for granted before.

I haven't talked to Kevan since he arrived in Mexico.  It's been hard.  I can send him emails while he is there, but he has no way to reply.  I've been emailing him each day and they print it off and give it to him at breakfast.  If you are reading this and want to send him encouragement let me know (through email or FB) and I'll send you the email to send it to.  He would love to receive encouragement from others.  Hopefully, he's keeping a journal so he can remember the things he experienced and won't forget to tell me.  Also, some pictures have been uploaded to FB.  Here is a picture of Kevan praying over the town they will be ministering too.  A beautiful picture of my hubby doing one of the most incredible things that God has gifted us with.  Prayer.  We are so blessed that we can pray to God....the Creator of all things.  He listens, answers, loves and cares for us.  Amazing.

I don't really have much else going on.  No doctors appointments for 2 more weeks.  I still have quite a bit of pain in the afternoons, starting around 3pm.  Mornings are my best time.  Night time is a lot better and I'm able to sleep at least 4-5 hours now without waking up in pain.  I miss taking baths, I hate that I still have to take pain meds and I really hate that my chest feels like 2 big rocks (literally)!  I still wake up trying to figure out why I have a bra on and why my underwire is puncturing me.  Then, I realize, "Oh ya, that's not a bra, that is my body.  My weird freaky body".  lol!  But, I know this is only for a time.  So, I will just continue to pray for strength, healing and acceptance.  It is hard for me to accept.  Sometimes, I want to go backwards to when I looked normal, wasn't in pain and didn't know I had cancer.  It is strange that sometimes during the day I even stop and think "Really?  Is it true?  I have breast cancer and I've had a double mastectomy?"  I guess because it has only been a short time and this all happened so fast.  It is just hard to believe it's me with these 8 scars and more coming later during my final surgery. 

I feel like I'm whining.  Lol!  So, I better end this post.  I love you all and I thank you so much for your prayers for me and for Kevan.  

Prayer for my parents and Kevan during this time

My parents arrived a few days ago from Michigan.  I asked them to come early so that we could spend some time together before my surgery.  It has been really nice having them around.  My mom is working from home so she is able to work while she is here and didn't have to take work off to come and be with me.  (Thank you David Michael!  I love you)  Two night's ago Kevan's dad brought us dinner (thank you Gerry!) and we sat outside in the grass, enjoyed the beautiful weather and just enjoyed each others company.  It was so nice.  We also watched the guys do a few more things with the deck.  They were going to try to finish the deck before my surgery so I can recuperate some outside, but I'm not sure if they will be done by then.  Here is a picture of where they are with it right now.  Don't look at the messiness.  That is what happens when you are mid-construction.  Remember, we live on a farm!

My mom will be working all day (from my house), plus taking care of me when I need her.  So, I'm a little worried that she is going to get stressed out over making meals for 4 of us and trying to do everything else (cleaning, laundry, work, helping me, etc).  Please pray for my mom during this time as she will have so much to do and I don't want her to stress out.  Kevan's cousin was so wonderful and made us a few homemade lasagna so that we can thaw them and cook them when we need them.  I thought it was a great idea!  Thank you Jackie!  You are a blessing to us!  AND...I know your lasagna is sooooo good!

Please keep Kevan in your prayers.  He will be trying to work while we are at the hospital on/off when I don't need him or I'm sleeping.  Pray that he will be able to focus.  I believe he will have a separate area in my hospital "suite" where he can work from, but I'm not sure.  When he doesn't work....he doesn't get paid.  :o( So, we need him to work. I'm sure this will be hard for him too so just pray for his emotions and that we will communicate with each other during this time and not keep anything in.  That will just make it harder on us.  Also, Kevan loves to go out on Friday nights (to dinner or a movie or whatever) so if you are a guy friend (no girls please! lol!) and want to have a guy's night out on a Friday please call him up.  He will need to get out of the house some and a movie is a good distraction.  My parents are here with me if I need help.  I want him to have some fun and not be cooped up here all the time having to help me.  This means during my chemo treatments too.  If I'm not feeling well I probably won't want to leave the house.  My only requirement is - NO MOTORCYCLES!  lol!! 

As I've mentioned in a previous post I feel so loved.  I have received so many encouraging emails, texts, cards and even a few gifts.  Two of our friends even stopped by to finish a home improvement project for us so I will be more comfortable recuperating in our master bedroom.  Everyone has been amazing.  I did not realize I had so many friends.  God has blessed me so much.  Each of you mean so much to me.  I'm hoping that while I'm recuperating I will be able to write my thank you notes to each person.  we will see!  If you don't receive one right away I'm working on them!  Just be patient.  :o)

My surgery is in 5 days.  I'm trying to fit in so many things.  I just took the kitties to the vet because they have allergies and need their shot.  They are a little more "needy" when they aren't feeling well.  Saturday I'm hoping to fit in making another batch of homemade yogurt for fruit smoothies while I'm sick. I want to get a pedicure (so I have cute feet while I'm in the hospital), check out a few wigs again with my mom, write out a few meal ideas for my mom, do all the laundry, finish painting our bedroom windows so we can put up our blinds, spend time praying and reading my bible....I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in!

I've been taking baths every day (instead of showers) since I won't be able to once I'm out of surgery.  I love baths.  lol!  I am really going to miss them.  At night, I'm making sure to sleep on my stomach because I won't have the luxury in a few days and I LOVE to sleep on my stomach.  I had 2 coffees today instead of one because in a few days I won't be allowed to have coffee for several days.  Oh, how I love my morning coffee with 2 teaspoons of cocoa and organic half-and-half! I am VERY hyper today.  lol!

Tomorrow I have a pre-Op appointment with my plastic surgeon, a two-hour breast cancer course at Baptist Hospital, an appointment to be measured for my post-op garment and a pre-admission appointment at the hospital.  Both my parents and Kevan are going with me so it will be a full day for all of us.  We are hoping to spend a nice night with my mother-in-law since we will be in Nashville.  Judy, I know...I haven't discussed this with you yet.  lol!  So, if you are reading this and I haven't talked to you about it yet....Oops!  We will be arriving to your house mid-afternoon.  ;o)

This post wouldn't be complete without a mention of our new family member.  Below is a picture of a kitty that has decided our house is his home.  He is a stray that someone probably dropped off.  His name is Bob.  He stays outside.  I have a love/hate relationship with Bob.  He is VERY loving, VERY talkative and a pretty sweet kitty.  BUT, he has killed an adorable little chipmunk right in front of us, a baby bird that was learning to fly and I can't get past his "bob" tail.  It smacks me in the leg when he is wagging it...and it is a little freaky.  lol!

Here is Bob...he is very pretty.

And, he's a Manx....notice the "bob" tail....hence the name "Bob"...courtesy of my FIL.  :o)

I really appreciate everyone's prayers, encouragement and love.  My heart feels so full.  It brings tears to my eyes to think about it.  You all overwhelm my soul.  I LOVE YOU ALL!  God bless each of you.

PET Scan Results! The Good and the Bad News.

Well, the doctor already called me with my PET scan results.  He was on his way to the airport so I REALLY appreciate that he took the time to call me.  I'm praying God blesses him today for being so kind to me.

The good news is that he didn’t see anything “light up” in my lymph nodes, organs or bones!  Hallelujah!  I am so happy to hear this.  Thank you all for your prayers!  This is wonderful news!  I will still have to have the sentinel node biopsy because the PET scan only shows a certain amount of cancer cells so they still need to make sure there are NO cancer cells in my lymph nodes.  Even a small amount.

The bad news is that the new lump I found in my other breast lit up on the test.  So, he believes it is also cancer.  He said this is VERY strange and that this rarely happens that someone will have cancer in both breasts.  It confirms our decision to have the bilateral mastectomy though.  He also said that they will want to determine if it is the same type of cancer or a different form.  Also, I may have to have a sentinel node biopsy on the left side too.  They are going to test the new lump tissue first though to make sure it is cancer before they remove any lymph nodes on that side too.  I am really anxious about having my lymph nodes removed, but he said because I'm thin I shouldn't have any issues.  But, there are still a few lifestyle changes that will have to be introduced once they remove them (wearing a compression sleeve when I fly, arm exercises, wearing gloves when working outside, etc).

Also, the right breast (the one that they initially found cancer in) also lit up.  So, some cancer may have been left behind after my lumpectomy or it could be from the healing process.  He wasn't sure.  They will be biopsying all tissue though so we will know for sure after my surgery on 5/8.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!  God answered them!!  I am VERY happy that no other cancer “lit up” on the scan.  I barely slept last night thinking about it.  Tonight, I will sleep well.  God is so good to me!