4 Weeks Post-Op and It is a Special Day

Today I am 4 weeks post-op.  Feels more like 6 weeks in some ways and 2 in others.  I'm still having good days and bad days & good nights and bad nights.  Two nights ago I slept the entire night without pain.  I had decided that the bra and the wrap had to go.  I always wear one or the other and they put pressure on my chest and also irritate my incisions so I decided to just wear a soft tank top.  I slept all night with no pain.  I was so excited!  But, I don't know if I overdid it yesterday or what but I had a terrible afternoon yesterday of pain, all night and this morning.  I just broke down and took a 1/2 a Valium to see if it would help the muscle pain.  So, if this post starts to become incoherent....it's the Valium.  :o)

I emailed my doctor to make sure it was okay to not wear a wrap or a bra since I had read online that some mastectomy/reconstruction patients were told they must at all times in order to provide support to their tissue expanders.  Well, she said since my TE's are sutured in I can go without support.  This was music to my ears!  I feel a lot better without all the pressure.   When I'm home or sleeping no more bra!  I know that is TMI, but I'm trying to help those other ladies out there who are struggling like me.  My doctor also told me to "Quit reading online!"  lol!  She explained that all doctors are different and each patient is different and if I have a question just email her.

Yesterday I spent the day with 4 wonderful ladies.  We took a scenic drive through one of the Smoky Mountain auto touring trails called, "Roaring Fork".  It was a beautiful drive and I love history so it was so fun to see the old cabins, barns and mills that they used to live in/use.  At one point I climbed into the front seat from the back (of course using my arms) and then crawled back to the backseat (so the ladies in the back wouldn't have to get out of the car to let me out).  It was a mistake.  It hurt.  So, that was stupid #1 yesterday.  Then, I carried around and took pictures the whole time with my big Nikon camera with the big lens.  I think it did a number on my pectorals (stupid #2).  Then, I put my purse in the far back of the car and then received a text that was noisy and wouldn't stop until it was acknowledged.  So, I reached back to get it and pulled my right pectoral muscle pretty good (stupid #3).  It still was a great day though (I saw another bear in the wild...about 10 feet from me) and it ended with one of my favorite things.....Strawberry Shortcake.  :o)  (My Valium is kicking in....I'm starting to feel a little better!)

Today is June 5th.  Two special things are happening today.  It is my parent's 41st Wedding Anniversary!  I wish I was there to celebrate it with them. 

I hope/pray that Kevan and I will be married at least 41 years.  I pray God heals me of this cancer (with no recurrences) so we can live out as best friends until we are old and gray.  It is so amazing and such a blessing to have parents that are still together and have been able to live out so many years as best friends who love each other.  Even through the bad times they always worked it out and their children saw their struggle, their forgiveness of each other (if it was needed) and their love through it all.  They were always very affectionate towards each other (and still are) and I've always loved that I have parents that aren't scared to show how much they care about each other.  God has surely blessed you both!  Also, growing up....there was hardly a night that they didn't tell me they loved me as I went to bed.  I'm thankful for the parents God gave me. 

Here is a funny picture of us when we were all much younger (before Tasha came along).  I am not at home so I couldn't find a family picture that Tasha was in too.  Oh, and yes....I'm the mushroom head.  lol!  Sorry mom...I know you say that haircut was really the rage back then, but I cannot believe a bowl cut was in style. 

The other special thing today is that my husband is at the Nashville airport getting ready to get on a plane to Mexico for our church mission trip to Tijuana.  Please pray for their safety, time there and that God will work in their hearts and the hearts of those they come in contact with. 

An Update from the Smokies

I'm sitting in a beautiful cabin near the Smoky Mountains while typing this.  My mother-in-law and  great-aunt in-laws are all here on vacation so I decided to stay with them while Kevan went on the mission trip to Mexico.  I thought it would be restful and wouldn't be alone so soon after surgery.  Here is the view from the upper deck of the cabin.  Beautiful!

I went to see my plastic surgeon on Friday for my 2nd tissue expander fill.  I was a little scared because the skin/expander felt so hard I thought she was going to tell me that I couldn't be expanded.  She was very positive about the left side getting expanded but not the right.  I even told her I didn't care if she put more in one side than the other since the left side is the one that looks so distorted...so it could only look better.  She brought the 60 cc syringes in and was able to get 40cc's on both.  I know I wanted 60, but I'm happy and I don't want to push it and be in pain because we rushed it.  I've heard online about women being too filled and having to go back to have some removed because the pain is so bad.  So, slower is probably good for me.  My next appointment is 6/21.  Since chemo is every 3 weeks and starts on 6/26 she wants me to come the week before chemo until we are done with the expansions.

Since this last expansion I think I look a lot better from the front.  Not so much like Frankenstein's bride.  lol!  But, the side view is not much to be desired.  lol!  But, it will all come together in time.  Thank the Lord for clothes!!  The best news of the day was that I'm allowed to wear deodorant again!  My husband is very happy.  Lol!  Also, I no longer have to bandage and use all of the medicated creams on my N's, incisions and drain scars.  From now on I will just need to use Aquifor on each area to keep it moist and to help with scarring.  Yay!  This makes me really happy and it won't take as long to get ready now.  It was taking us about 15-20 minutes every day just do to the medicating and bandaging.  Everything is healing really well.  The RN looked at Kevan and told him he did a wonderful job as my nurse because it all looks so good.  I praise God for my healing and your prayers to Him.  I have had no complications and I am so thankful for that. 

Some notes for me and for those that have expanders or implants:  She explained that because I no longer have feeling in this area (because the tissue, nerves, etc were removed) that when I go into the sun I won't be able to tell if my skin is getting hot.  So, since it is getting close to summer and I may go to the beach and wear a bathing suit, that I will need to put sunscreen on under my suit as well as on the non-covered skin.  She also said that the expanders and implants sort of absorb the sun instead of reflect it.  This is for life!  She said many women have been burned badly and blistered for not being aware of this.  I'm not much of a sun bather.  I usually sit under an umbrella reading at the beach anyway while Kevan enjoys the water.  He loves the water.  I'd rather be in the mountains than the beach.

Before Kevan dropped me off with my mother-in-law we stayed in a great bed & breakfast, Berry Springs B&B, in Sevierville, TN.  If you are in the area I highly recommend it.  Here is the view from the back deck.

The breakfast was wonderful.   They have a little hiking trail that takes you to 2 small ponds where you can fish (they let you use their fishing gear) or canoe.  They have bikes too if you want to ride around.  On the little trail we saw 6 bunnies.  They were so cute.  So, if you are married and you have to go through a double mastectomy/reconstruction....it doesn't mean you can't spend a romantic night away with your hubby a few weeks after surgery.  We had time the next day to take a drive around Cades Cove which is inside Smoky Mountain National Park.  We love it there.  We saw sever turkeys and deer which is what we always see and I have always wanted to see a bear.  Well, yesterday, I saw 3 bears!  First time in my life to see them in the wild.  I was getting teary eyed thinking about how much God has blessed me during this time.  One of the bears was about 4 feet from my face.  We saw him climbing on the side of the road when we drove by....he had the cutest little face, but when we turned around he was already gone.  I was still glad we saw him though and he was so close!  We really enjoyed our time together.  I'm already missing him and he hasn't even been gone 24 hours yet.  I'm a wimp.

Since my last post I have received a comment a few emails of people that read about the Spurgeon book on Heaven and either purchased it or are going to.  I was happy to hear it.  It will surely bless you and I know one of you already said it had.  :o)

Well, that is all for now.  My MIL and I are going to play some cards.  :o)