Monday, October 8, 2012

Anxiousness and Faith

I'm anxious and I know the Lord tells us not to be anxious.  Sigh!  I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow and I have a lot of anxiety over it.  We are going to talk over my future treatment and discuss what types of scans will be performed to make sure my cancer has not returned.  I'm really not looking forward to the appointment.  I DO NOT want to take the recommended treatment, Tamoxafin.  I have researched it many times, cringed over the side effects and every time I come to the same conclusion.  I have prayed about it and every time I come to the same answer.  I don't want it.  PLEASE pray for Kevan and I.  This is a difficult decision for us.  I wish (and pray) the doctor had the same conclusion.  Please pray for God to give the doctor wisdom as well.  I might be even more nervous about this than I was the chemo.  

Also, he wants to discuss "scans".  I really hated going through the PET scan and it is not high up on my list of accurate tests since it showed a false positive of breast cancer in my left breast as well.  (After my mastectomy biopsies it was determined that I only had it on the right side...not both sides like the PET scan revealed).  So, I really don't want to have PET scans as my periodic test.  I need pray regarding the scans too.

I'm also tired of the side effects I'm still experiencing from the chemo (mostly menopause symptoms).  I would really LOVE prayer for this.  Please beg God for me and ask him to take these symptoms away.  I know He can and God has answered so many of your prayers for me.  I am so thankful for everyone.

I am also SO thankful that I have a little bit of hair on my head now.  Kevan said today that it looks like I have a 5 o'clock shadow on my head.  :o)  I'm taking biotin to help it grow back a little faster.  I hope it's working.

I will try to have faith that my Father is going to work everything out for good tomorrow.  I know He will....I will cling to the verses below.

"The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:4-7


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28 
 

2 comments:

  1. Jayde, I will continue to pray for you! Just remember that God has put this physician in your life to help you through this difficult period. Pray that God will give you a peace about the proper protocol for you. If you ask, He will give it to you! "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad!" Proverbs 12:25
    If you identify all you blessings and thank God for each of them, then it is impossible to be depressed or anxious!!! :) Read 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp to learn "Eucharist Deo". I'm praying....
    http://www.aholyexperience.com/category/eucharistic-living/

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  2. Dear Jayde: I know we don't see "eyeball to eyeball" on some things, but I'm operating in the knowledge that God has already answered your prayers the minute they went out to him. He knows what we need before WE do. Praying in the spirit for you, especially concentrating on those areas where you are anxious. Here's a mind picture: think of Jesus as a big, comfy chair with arms. Now, sit in that chair--allow yourself to sink into it. Lean your head back. The arms of the chair are wrapping around you. You are resting in Jesus as this happens. He's got you in his arms--you are comfortable and confident.

    Love, JOY

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