3-Weeks Post Op

I've had an emotional morning.  I finally called Southwest to see if I could have my mission trip flight refunded.  I knew it would be emotional so I guess that is why I procrastinated so long.  The first woman that I spoke with at Southwest was such an encouragement.  She told me about her mom's struggle with breast cancer and that she is now a survivor.  She said that instead of going on a mission's trip for one week that God has given me another mission for my life.  She said this was a great opportunity to draw close to God, to encourage others going through the same struggle and to take the time to study His Word.  How wonderful to hear from someone else what has been going on in my heart all ready.  Confirmation.  I told her she was a blessing to me and that she really encouraged me.  I'm glad she wasn't afraid of getting into trouble from Southwest for mention "God" and for encouraging me.  Southwest has always been my favorite airline....and it's not just because you work there Peggy.  lol!  I will definitely be praying for the team several times a day and missing my best friend.  The second person at Southwest didn't comment other then to tell me where to fax my doctor's letters in order to receive the refund, but that's ok.  I had already been blessed.

I can't believe that it has been 3 weeks since I left our home to head to the hospital for my bilateral mastectomy and bilateral sentinel nodes biopsies.  My daily life and body have changed so much since then.  It has been hard.  I've went through the hardest and most painful 3 weeks of my life.  But, it has contained some of the best days because I have been blessed so much.  The outpouring of love to me has been overwhelming.  Really, OVERWHELMING!  I really cannot put into words how amazing everyone has been to me.  Friends and family have sent me cards, emails of encouragement, hand-made items, gifts, flowers, movies to watch, books, gift cards, brought us food and so much more.  It isn't about the cards and gifts though.  It is just knowing that I have so many that love me and care for me.  That these people are all out their praying for me and cheering me on.  When I'm having a hard time I just think about how many out there are praying for me and want God to bring me through this so I will have the new title of "Survivor".  Who wouldn't feel better?  I mean, I knew I had friends.  But, I didn't realize how many really really cared for me.  I love each of you. 

In these 3 weeks I have seen my husband nurse me, love me and care for me.  He is amazing.  He said on the way to the hospital he prayed and asked the Lord to help him be patient and to be able to care for me like he needed to.  Because, of course, married couples become impatient and annoyed with each other over the little things and he was scared he wouldn't be able to be the husband he needed to be.  But, God answered his prayer and during this time it has been a special time for us.  I always pictured "in sickness and in health" as me being his nurse, but God has allowed me to see just how amazing my husband would be during a time like this.  Kevan has encouraged me through my hard days when I "look in the mirror", when I'm in pain and when I can't see the end.  Oh, I love this man.  Of course, he isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me.

Also, I was able to spend 3 weeks with my parents when normally I only see them once or twice a year for a short time.  We had a great time together.  Both of my parents helped me so much and loved on me.  I've had a few surgeries in my life and it is always so much better to have my mom there with me.  Because, she's MOM!  My in-laws have also helped a lot and I appreciate them so much.

Unfortunately, sometimes, it is only during times like this when you have to stop your busy life, because of illness, that you really see how much you are blessed and that is why you hear that over and over in my posts.  Because I have been forced to stop and reflect.  I cannot forget to mention that God has been with me daily through this.  I see His love for me.  He is always with me, but I have seen Him even more the last few weeks.  Again, because I have the time and I'm actually spending it with Him.  I can't fill my days with all of the other things I normally do.  I've spent more time studying his Word and praying.  I cherish this time with Him.

Are y'all tired of the sappy posts about being so blessed?  I'm sorry.  I could tell you that yesterday Kevan noticed an area in one of my incisions that is getting infected so he decided to sterilize a knife, cut into it (while of course I was screaming and he was calling me a big baby.  lol!).  He let the puss out (yes, I said puss...ewwww!) and then he put medication on it before he bandaged it back up.  But, I doubt you want to hear that.  LOL!  I even sent a picture of it to my doctor so she's aware.  Imagine getting that picture in your email box.  lol! 

I think I overdid things yesterday.  I tried to load the dishwasher and do some light laundry.  So, I am paying for it today.  It really wasn't even that much, but by the end of the night I could barely move my arms.  I had a miserable night of sleep and the person that just said she loved mornings a few days ago was actually a big grump this morning.  LOL!  Even after my mocha.  This never happens. 

Thank you all for your encouragement.