Special Prayer Request and Chemo Update

I found out yesterday that my chemo will start on 6/26.  I hate moving it out that far since I just want to get it over with, but I'm glad that it will be 7 weeks since my surgery.  I should be healed pretty good and Kevan will be home from Mexico and will be able to go with me.  God's timing is perfect so I will take that date!  I will have blood work done, a visit with the Oncologist and then treatment that same day.  I have no idea if I will have to have a "port" yet.  I am leaning towards not having one and just having the IV each time.  But, we will see what the doctor says.  I'm just freaking out over yet ANOTHER scar and the freaky-ness of having it under my skin the whole time.  lol!

My "fills" at the plastic surgeon will continue during chemo treatment.  I have an appointment in 2 days (Friday) for my next fill.  If you read about my last fill you know that she was only able to do half of a fill (30cc).  I was very disappointed, but I know she wants to take it easy on me because it can be painful if they do too much at a time.  I wanted to ask you all for prayer.  Please?  I am hoping that my skin is ready to receive a fill on Friday because we are going a little earlier than we were supposed to since I wanted Kevan there with me.  I don't feel ready since the skin is VERY hard and I don't know feel any room for anything else....but I have no idea what I'm feeling for or what they look for when they do the fill.  Also, if they can't do a fill then I will have to wait an additional 3 weeks so Kevan will be back and can go with me.  The thought really saddens me.  I would love to have 2 fills before chemo starts.  Please pray that my skin will be ready.....and I would love it to be ready for 60cc instead of 30cc.  Please Lord?  I have such a hard time looking at myself and the more fills I receive the more I will start to look normal again.

It is funny that on Sunday I wore a strapless dress to church.  It was nice to feel girlie.  I had a few women come up to me and say, "You don't look like you've had a mastectomy at all" when they looked at my chest.  That was very sweet of them.  I told them, "that is because I have 3 layers of padding".  One friend called them my "friends".  lol!  I know I'm telling my secrets, but if you are a woman going through the same thing don't be afraid to use a few "friends" to help you feel more like a girl.   It really did make me feel good and I didn't have to feel like a boy.  Also, it helps to imagine the day when the "friends" won't be needed anymore and I will feel normal again.

Yesterday, I did my own bandaging since I will have to take care of myself while Kevan is away in Mexico.  I had to look in the mirror while I did it and I am becoming for comfortable with how I look and there were no tears.  That is an answer to prayer.  

Also, I mentioned yesterday about Kevan's "home surgery" on a little area of my biopsy incision.  The doctor said that it wasn't infected at all and that it is just a "spitting stitch".  Definition - "A spitting stitch is caused when stitches work themselves to the surface, or the ends of a stitch pops out. This will sometimes manifest itself as a red spot that peaks in the way a pimple would, and then once it's out it will heal. It can be painful, but it's typically not serious.  When the stitch pops out it can look like a piece of soft white rice or have puss.  Nothing to worry about.  Just wait and show your plastic surgeon."  Um...so...I got carved on for no reason!  At least I can say I was right!  I didn't think it was infected.  lol!

While Kevan is in Mexico I've decided to go to the mountains to be with my MIL and her 3 aunts.  Kevan is going to drive me up there on Friday night and we are going to spend the night in a beautiful bed and breakfast before he drops me off with them on Saturday.  I am very excited about spending this time with him before he leaves.  Also, I will get to spend a week with some wonderful ladies and I'm grateful that I won't have to be alone just in case I need help while Kevan is away.  I'll try to post some pictures.