Sunday, July 8, 2012
Day 13 - Holy Cow Batman - Literally!
I literally feel like a cow. I gained 9 pounds while I was in the hospital. 9 pounds! I kept telling Kevan I felt huge and when I walk I feel like a pregnant woman. I sort of waddle. So, between surgery weight and hospital weight I have gained 19 pounds. Seriously?? I was afraid of this when I was diagnosed. I hate it. I feel so swollen. Anyway.....enough about my fatness....I'm getting depressed.
I came home from the hospital today!!!! We are praising the Lord. I was in the hospital for 4 days. 3 days ago they diagnosed me with neutropenia and informed that if I got sick with an infection or virus I wouldn't have any white blood cells to fight it and could die within hours. It was pretty scary. But, with much prayer (mine and so many others) God graciously brought me through it. That night our church sent out a text message to pray for me, our family was praying, co-workers and friends.....overnight my counts went up and then the next night they doubled. It was awesome! I am so blessed.
I was told to call my Oncologist tomorrow morning and schedule an appointment to have him look at the swelling in my underarms. I have to have this resolved before my next chemo treatment on 7/17 or the drop in WBC might happen again. Also, one of the mistakes I made after chemo on 6/26 was the Neupogen shot. The doctor asked me if I wanted it in case my WBC dropped or did I want to wait until there was a drop. I said to wait because I had heard the shot gives so many bone pain and I was scared of the bone pain. After the fact....I would've much rather had the bone pain. So, the day after my 7/17 treatment I will receive the Neupogen shot. Gladly!
Kevan and I arrived home at about 5:30 Central. It was wonderful. We brought everything in, played and loved on the kitties for a few minutes and then went outside to sit on our deck and enjoy being outside. It was great to sit out on the deck and appreciate God's creation. I love it. I saw two bunnies playing together and eating here and there. An indigo bunting flew in and stayed for the longest I have ever seen them sit. They hardly ever show up let alone sit around for long. Here is a picture of one I took in the past.
We started seeing a bunch of hummingbirds in our pear tree so we decided it was time to fill the feeders. Kevan grabbed the hummingbird feeders and I grabbed the bird feeders. We filled them all and put them back up so we could enjoy our view a little more and the birds would really enjoy their feeders being full again. When we were almost done putting the feeders back up a big wind came through. All of a sudden we heard a loud CRACK! I ducked. We both knew it was a tree falling. So, we both looked around and saw that it was a tree near our fence line that had died. Kevan was going to take care of it in the fall, but it didn't wait that long. It fell. lol! I was so glad it wasn't near the house. Last year we had a huge Bradford Pear fall near the house so I was glad that this one wasn't anywhere near us.
I am so blessed to live here. It is a 100 year old farmhouse with a huge barn and 8 acres. It is old and needs a lot of work, but Kevan and I enjoy it here so much. I am so thankful that after 4 days of being cooped up in a VERY small hospital room I can come home, sit out on my deck and look out at our pasture, feeders and trees to view so much of what God has blessed us with. It is so beautiful. I love sitting in my chair, hearing a hummingbird above me and looking up to see him at the feeder or sitting quietly in our pear tree.
After our little rest on the deck I decided to clean my house some. I was so sick last week that it fell to pieces. I left dishes all over the kitchen, papers everywhere, floors unswept, etc. I am so embarrassed that a few people stopped by to check on our house/kitties while we were gone. But, I am thankful that they did. I cleaned the kitchen, swept a little and that was enough. It was nice to be able to do it though. One thing I've learned is that while you are doing chemo....if you feel good...you better do what you need to do because when you feel bad....you will feel REALLY bad and you won't be able to do it. So, I took advantage of my good day. It was a great day! God answered so many prayers and I am so blessed to be loved by so many that were praying for me. My heart is so full. There are days that I am in despair and I struggle so much, but I am so glad that there are days that I truly see God's love for me. He is there all the time, I know.
I am home. I am okay now. He is with me. I love Him so!
Psalm 103:1 - "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!"
Prayer is a blessing I hope that you take advantage of. It is a an amazing gift that God has given us. To approach His Throne of Grace with our petitions. To have a relationship with the one that created all things. To talk with Him, cry to Him, ask of Him....to love Him, praise Him and worship Him.
"If your soul is starving, look to see how far you are from the Throne of Grace. Prayer is the road to a deeply satisfying, drought-resistant joy in God." - Charles Spurgeon