Started back to work....

I started back to work yesterday.  This probably means the blog posts will be fewer because I won't have much time.  I have been off for 5 weeks.  It is great to get back on my normal schedule.  I didn't realize how much I missed work and missed my co-workers until I started back yesterday.  It has been great to hear everyone's voice again.  Most of you know, I work from home.  I am really blessed that I can still recuperate at home and I don't have to rush to get ready, drive to work, etc.  I am feeling the "rush" of work already though.  lol!  But, it is a good thing.  Takes my mind of cancer, chemo and Kevan being gone.  I only have 19 days left until chemo starts.  Eek!

I am finally sleeping without having to prop myself up.....which is wonderful.  I'm sleeping pretty much straight with just two pillows under my head.  Hopefully, in a few days I'll be back to just one pillow.  I was able to finally sleep on my side a little last night.  Yay!  I am a stomach sleeper and, of course, I have not been able to sleep on my stomach.  I hate sleeping on my back so it was SO nice to finally be able to turn a little without much pain.  It did hurt after a while (I think it was the TE sutures pulling), but I was still excited to be able to do it even for a little bit.  Each day brings more things I can do once again.  It makes me appreciate all the little things that I took for granted before.

I haven't talked to Kevan since he arrived in Mexico.  It's been hard.  I can send him emails while he is there, but he has no way to reply.  I've been emailing him each day and they print it off and give it to him at breakfast.  If you are reading this and want to send him encouragement let me know (through email or FB) and I'll send you the email to send it to.  He would love to receive encouragement from others.  Hopefully, he's keeping a journal so he can remember the things he experienced and won't forget to tell me.  Also, some pictures have been uploaded to FB.  Here is a picture of Kevan praying over the town they will be ministering too.  A beautiful picture of my hubby doing one of the most incredible things that God has gifted us with.  Prayer.  We are so blessed that we can pray to God....the Creator of all things.  He listens, answers, loves and cares for us.  Amazing.

I don't really have much else going on.  No doctors appointments for 2 more weeks.  I still have quite a bit of pain in the afternoons, starting around 3pm.  Mornings are my best time.  Night time is a lot better and I'm able to sleep at least 4-5 hours now without waking up in pain.  I miss taking baths, I hate that I still have to take pain meds and I really hate that my chest feels like 2 big rocks (literally)!  I still wake up trying to figure out why I have a bra on and why my underwire is puncturing me.  Then, I realize, "Oh ya, that's not a bra, that is my body.  My weird freaky body".  lol!  But, I know this is only for a time.  So, I will just continue to pray for strength, healing and acceptance.  It is hard for me to accept.  Sometimes, I want to go backwards to when I looked normal, wasn't in pain and didn't know I had cancer.  It is strange that sometimes during the day I even stop and think "Really?  Is it true?  I have breast cancer and I've had a double mastectomy?"  I guess because it has only been a short time and this all happened so fast.  It is just hard to believe it's me with these 8 scars and more coming later during my final surgery. 

I feel like I'm whining.  Lol!  So, I better end this post.  I love you all and I thank you so much for your prayers for me and for Kevan.