6 Weeks Post-Op

As of yesterday, I am 6 week's post-op.  I am doing so much better physically.  I was able to fully clean my house last Saturday (mopping, vacuuming, etc) without much pain and it was wonderful to be able to do it on my own.  I really don't have pain unless I'm reaching...like when I clean our jacuzzi tub or help Kevan hold 2x4's above my head while he's putting up our deck roof.  Or if I'm bouncing...like when Kevan asked me to tow the tractor through the pasture using the 4-wheeler.  It was pretty bouncy and I didn't realize the pain I would be in until afterwards.  I am sleeping a lot better and have only been waking up once or twice a night.  I have gotten to the point now where I forget that I had surgery (if I don't look or feel) and the very painful first few weeks are almost a blur.  It is amazing how we can forget the pain.  I guess that is why women go on to have multiple babies even after a painful birth.  Thankfully, each day gets easier and the bad times are forgotten.

I will be starting chemo in 6 days!  I'm sort of freaking out.  Every day I try to cherish the hair I have because I know in a few VERY short weeks I won't have any.  This means head hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, nose hair, arm hair....you get the point.  :o)  Right now, my bad hair days are great days!  Also, I'm trying to think of everything I want to do before next Tuesday.  Just in case I have side effects I want to have the house clean, laundry done, work caught up and food ready.  I'm also hoping to make a bunch of frozen meals this weekend.  This worked out so well when I had surgery that I want to make sure we have things like this available again.  It is so easy for Kevan or I to grab a casserole out of the freezer, let it thaw during the day and then stick it in the oven.  Also, I like to throw all of our smoothie ingredients (homemade yogurt cubes, fruit, etc) into individual baggies so we just have to dump it in the blender for a quick breakfast or snack.  Kevan has reminded me how important antioxidants are right now and blueberries will definitely be in the baggies.  Also, while reading one of my breast cancer books I learned that yogurt is one of the top 5 best foods for hydration.  So, any help I can get there is great since I will already be pushing myself to drink more water.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon for another "fill".  Strange to type the words.  I have a "plastic surgeon".  I never thought I would write that.  I am so glad that God has gifted some doctors with the gift of plastic surgery.  I would be left with a very unflattering body if I had just had a mastectomy with no reconstruction.  I am blessed.  I know that a lot of surgeries are for cosmetic reasons, but I know they do huge miracles for some who were involved in accidents, have cancer, etc.  I've seen it first-hand with my brother.  He was in a car accident when we were in high school.  I made it to the hospital before they took him into surgery.  He went through the windshield and back out again (he wasn't wearing his seat belt).  You can imagine what that could do to someone's face.  It was awful to see him like that and I know it was even harder for him.  Today, he is just as handsome as he always was.  No one would even know that he was ever in an accident.  So, I am praying and holding onto miracles that I will look as good as I did before.  I wasn't perfect before so I am not looking for perfection.  I will even be okay with the scars if it means I will feel normal and look somewhat normal again.  Please God!  

Something I have not mentioned on my blog (I don't think) is that I have gained 10 pounds since my surgery.  I have no idea why.  Saline cannot weigh more than my old breast tissue, can it?  Maybe it's because I have not been doing much physical exercise, but I would've never imagined I would gain 10 pounds in 6 weeks!   So, not only am I unhappy with how I look due to surgery....now I am REALLY unhappy with how I look because I have gained weight.  Some have said I will lose it during chemo, but I have not been able to find evidence of that.  If I do....it will be one of the blessings of chemo.  I would love to lose about 20 pounds....and please no comments about how I don't need to lose weight.  I REALLY want to fit into my clothes and lately my clothes options are diminishing greatly.  I hate shopping...so I don't think clothing options will improve much unless I lose some weight. 

Tonight I will be teaching my very first adult bible study.  I'm pretty nervous.  I do NOT like to be in front of others so this is a huge step for me.  I already feel like I'm going to throw up.  lol!  Also, Kevan will be teaching a 5th/6th grade boys class for the first time.  We both need lots of prayer.  :o)

I don't really have much else going on.  For those who aren't on my Facebook the only other news this week is that the "wild" horse, that lives on our property sometimes, had her baby.  I've been praying for weeks that she would have her baby on our property so I could see it!  The baby is adorable, but this was the best picture I could get since they run when we approach them.  We bought some sweet feed and we are trying to lure her into being friends with us.

And the kitty that lives in our barn had kittens.  They have to be at least 4-6 weeks old since they are coming to the porch for dry food.  They run from us, but I'm hoping at some point they will let us pet them.  It isn't a great picture since I had to take it through the window, but you can still see their cuteness!  Also, we think Bob is the father and I am soooooo happy they all have tails....unlike Bob...who has a stub.  lol!

So, even through this difficult time...God is giving me little blessings.