60cc's Baby!

I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon's office today.  I had my 3rd fill (60cc's baby!) and now I am the size I was before my surgery.  I look so much more normal now!  It is amazing.  I am praising God because I was really worried there for a few weeks.  I remember the hours of crying after I would look in the mirror and now....I look pretty good.  I still have my scars, but I can live with them!  They will eventually turn white and won't be as noticeable.  The expander is no longer "lumpy" and is much fuller so the skin on the outside looks normal now.  Yay!  If you are going through this and you are discouraged....just know that it only took me 6 weeks to get back to my pre-Op size.  That isn't very long at all.  My chest is very hard again, but it will soften as the days go by between fills and the skin stretches.  She also said when I have my final surgery they should feel normal again (big relief!).  It had been 20 days since my last fill so I had time to soften a little bit and the skin had more time to stretch. It was way more comfortable getting the fill this time.  I think the extra week between fills really helped.  I took 2 Advil before I arrived and I have a little bit of pain, but not too bad.  Just feels like a sore muscle across my chest.  I have no nerves left so I can't feel a thing while she's doing the fill, just pressure, it is weird.  lol!  She said I will probably only need 1 or 2 more fills.  During my next office visit she is going to scan in my picture and use software to show me what I will look like post final surgery.  My oncological surgeon told me about their software and he said it is pretty accurate to what I will look like in the end.  This will be the appointment where we finally discuss "size".  I think Kevan is really looking forward to this appointment.  lol! 

Also, I showed her where my skin is pulling on the outside of both breasts when I extend my arms.  It is causing me pain/discomfort when I'm reaching or putting my arms over my head.  She believes it is scar banding so she's referred me to the physical therapist.  She thinks the PT will be able to massage it and do some exercises with me to help it and maybe fix it altogether.  Great news to me!  She said it happens to a lot of thin, tall women.  I guess we are the wimps that don't do our exercises soon enough because we are in pain.  :o)  That is what caused it....not doing my exercises that first week I arrived home.  I tried, of course, but would give up because it hurt so bad.  Remember, don't be Jayde!  Do your exercises!

She also lifted all restrictions this week!  I can go to the gym, take baths again, wear a normal bra, go in a hot tub or pool.  Yay!!  The only thing I cannot do is lift over 30 pounds.  Also, she noticed that my N's are looking good and the pigment is looking good too.  Praising God again for that!  We went from almost black N's (eww!) that had blood flow problems during Post-Op Week 1 to having N's that look like they did before surgery.  Another big praise!  Thank you all for your prayers.

It is so strange talking about my breasts and my N's, but this is an important part of being a woman.  Especially a married woman who wants to look nice for her husband.  If I had my arm or leg cut off, wouldn't I look into getting a prosthetic?  There are so many women out there going through this and I just want them to know that even through the struggle God is there, helping us, comforting us and giving us hope.  He even cares about our N's.  I know some women don't get to keep their N's, but He is still there with you and if you don't get to keep them He has given doctor's wonderful N making skills.  It is pretty crazy how real they look. 

I just have to keep telling myself that I am blessed.  50 years ago they didn't have the new methods they do today.  I would not have looked this good.  I have breast cancer and could've (or could still) die.  Getting rid of the cancer is more important than how I look, but how I look to my husband is runner up for me.  It is a blessing that during this struggle I have good doctor's to help me with both.  Thank you Lord.  You are amazing.

 
"And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." - Colossians 3:17

Also, my favorite thing about going to Nashville for my doctor's appointments is that I get to go to Qdoba for lunch afterwards!  I love Qdoba!  Be happy with the little things....life is so much more joyful (or joy-filled).  :o)