Hair Progress, Prayer and Fun

I know I have not been updating my blog as often lately.  I'm sorry.  It is mostly due to not having the time.  I have been sleeping better so I do not wake up so early anymore and I'm back at work so I just don't have the time during the day.   We have been pretty busy at night lately so I just keep pushing it to the next day and you all know how that goes.  Kevan and I are really good at procrastination.  Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? 

I wanted to tell you a little about what is going on in our lives lately.  God has provided a new opportunity for Kevan and I to fully depend on Him.  Which we should do daily, but sometimes with the big things we want to rely on ourselves before we rely on Him.  For this...I'm choosing to rely on Him sooner than later!  Earlier this year it was my cancer and now it is Kevan's job.  Kevan found out that his yearly contract will not be renewed (due to a lack of work this time of year) and his last day at work is this Wednesday.  He has spoken to several headhunters and has discussed several promising positions, but most of them are for 100% travel.  He has worked from home for the last 2 years and I have worked from home for the last 9 years.  It would be a huge adjustment to have him gone every day.   I know we've been spoiled, but God also knows how much this works for us.  So, I'm praying that God will provide Kevan a job that has 40% travel or less.  I think he would enjoy some travel, but it would be so hard on us if he was gone every week.  There are several reasons why we don't love the idea of him traveling every week.  I will bore you with them...sorry...but I want to remember what was going on in my head during this time.  1). We live in a very rural area and the airport is about 1.5 hours from us.  2). We only have one car...so we would have to get another one.  3). He's my best friend and I just don't want him gone all the time.  I do love my alone time as I am an introvert and love to be alone to read...but I love being with him and it will feel strange to not have him here with me.  4).  My surgery in December.  If he takes a travel job around my surgery time then I will need someone to help me at home.  Also, we have a wood stove...I won't be able to lift over 5 pounds for awhile...the house is going to get pretty cold if there is no fire in that stove.  5). Church - Kevan and I are very involved in our church.  If he travels throughout the week he can no longer teach on Wednesday nights or be involved in other weekly church activities.  This is huge for us since we love our church family so much.  Anyway....I am praying specifically because I know my Heavenly Father loves us and I know He can answer specific prayers.  Please Lord....please provide my sweet husband a job that is only 40% or less travel.  Please have it be a job he loves and enjoys waking up to each day (like I do my job).  Thank you for blessing us so much in our life together.  You are our Provider.  I ask these things in Jesus' Name, knowing in my heart that you are able to provide them....Amen.

I was writing a friend the other day about someone she knew that was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  I wanted to give any help I could to make this journey easier for her, but the #1 thing I realized while writing that email to her was that the #1 thing that WILL get her through it and through any situation is prayer.  Seriously, without prayer I would not have made it or the journey would've been so much worse.  My prayers, your prayers and the prayers of Jesus, to the Father, on my behalf....all contributed to my journey.  Yes, Jesus intercedes for us while He is at the right hand of the Father (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25).   I find so much comfort in that.  So, as I prayed for my cancer, I will pray for my husband.  I give this worry to my Father who I know can give us the desires of our hearts if we only delight in Him (Psalm 37:4).

Now, I will tell you a funny story.  I haven't been wearing my wigs as much because the hair in the front that touches the wig band has not been coming in like the rest of my head.  I think, because it rubs and brushes the hair off.  Well, last night Kevan and I had to drive to Outback Steakhouse to retrieve my credit card that I left there 2 weeks ago.  Oops!  Anyway, while we were sitting in the bar (because the place was packed and I didn't want to wait for a better table) I noticed that people would look at my head covering and then smile at me with this sympathetic smile.  Which, of course, is very sweet of them to realize I must be bald under that covering, figure I have cancer (which I don't anymore PRAISE GOD!) and then feel bad for me.  Men even jump to open the door for me or offer me a seat if we are waiting for a table....which didn't happen much before cancer.  Kevan and I were walking to the car after dinner and I said, "I wonder if that is how they would look at me if I walked around with my bald head instead of my head covering."  We were on our way to a movie...so, Kevan suggested that when we go into the theater I should walk in with my bald head instead of the head covering and see how people react.  So, I did.  LOL!  (Keep in mind that it was FREEZING last night....my poor head was so cold!)  It was so funny to see the different reactions.  Of course, people did a double-take.  Kevan watched a pretty blonde girl look up at me and then when I passed her she continued to stare at me while I couldn't see her.  LOL!  What I really noticed though was the smile so many gave me.  It wasn't a sympathetic smile at all....it was a happy smile....which then....made me smile.  Now, they could've been laughing at me on the inside...I don't know...but at least it wasn't sympathetic.  Also, I was impressed with the girl at the popcorn counter because she called me "Miss"....I was so happy that she knew I was a woman!  lol!  Without hair I feel like I look like a man.  After the movie Kevan and I were talking about it and he believes that the happy vs. sympathetic smiles were because with the head covering on I look like I'm still going through cancer treatment, but because I have a little bit of hair now (VERY LITTLE) they can see that my hair is growing back so they are happy for me.  I don't know if that is it, but I liked the happy smiles a lot more than the sympathetic sad ones.  If it wasn't so cold out I might consider going around bald now.  lol!  It is definitely more fun! 

Before I show you some pictures I wanted to mention that my eyelashes are continuing to fall out and my eyebrows seem a lot thinner (you can tell in the two pictures below too).  I've noticed the eyelashes since I hardly have any on the bottom now when I go to do my mascara.  Maybe 10 total.  :o(  Hopefully, this will stop and they will start to grow back soon.

I've been wanting to update the blog with a hair growth picture, but I can never get Kevan to stop long enough to take a picture.  Here is a picture that he took of me on October 12th.

and here is what my hair looks like now (10/27).  Please please please!  No Sinead O'Connor comments.  I already have a tough time when I look in the mirror because I look like her....I don't want everyone else telling me that too.  ;o)

It is funny looking at these pictures because I feel like I have so much more hair than this.  LOL!  You all are probably thinking how little hair I have after 2 months of being off chemo.  It sure feels like more.  :o)

Here is the back view.

Here is my side view right now (yes...I apparently have a mole on my head.  lol!  I didn't know that before my baldness).  I HATE pictures of myself so I really hate posting these bad pics....but so  many have been asking me to update the blog on my hair progress...so here you go.